And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize