last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
