I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
