how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
