Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
