I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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