i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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