I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
