She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
