I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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