I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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