ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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