i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
