hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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