I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
