you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
