I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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