Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
kristin has been a bad kristin
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
