Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize