sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
