do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize