So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
