he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
