One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
