We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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