I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We just shotgunned beers for America
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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