i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
