i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You ruined the universe
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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