didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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