This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
