Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
