If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
