I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sext me about skeletons
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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