It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
even my farts smell like vagina
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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