Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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