you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
