Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
