Me too!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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