Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
