i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
