Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
