Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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