At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
