85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
