So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
