Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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