The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
farters have to be the big spoon...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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