haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
