I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
