It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
