Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
