You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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