may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
