too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
