i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
