We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
