Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
