I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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